


All Is Fair in Love and War

by Snakeofthe80s



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Allies, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Battle, Character Death, Double Agents, Enemies, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Forced Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internal Conflict, Mind Games, Not Canon Compliant, Seduction, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Spying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:53:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23879113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snakeofthe80s/pseuds/Snakeofthe80s
Summary: After joining The Order of the Phoenix, Lily Evans is determined to do what's necessary to take Voldemort down. When Voldemort seeks to recruit her, Dumbledore offers her a new role: Accept his offer. As she fights to not lose her own sanity and self, an ally emerges and Lily comes to realize it is true: All is fair in love and war.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	All Is Fair in Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore offers Lily a new position in The Order

** Chapter One: Proposal **

_Mid-July 1978_

Lily Evans crossed her arms with a heavy frown as she stood in front of her former Headmaster, now her leader in the fight against Voldemort. She knew that twinkle in his eyes, that look. Sure, she expected that he wanted something when he asked her to visit his office. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was not going to like that something.

"It seems he wishes to recruit you." Dumbledore spoke casually, as if he just told the eighteen-year-old that she had aced the test.

She nearly scoffed out loud. "And why would he do that? I'm a muggleborn after all."

"It's not about that. He wants to use your talents. It's not about your blood. He wants your brains."

"Well, not like it would be out of the realm of possibility for them to turn this war into a Romero flick." She sneered, then sighed at Dumbledore's confused face. "Muggle film about zombies that eat your-never mind." She let her shoulders drop. "So, what's the point? I'm uninterested in his cause."

"I know. You've joined the Order, but Voldemort wants you to join his side. He's planning to try and recruit a few of you."

Lily raised her forehead, "And we'll turn him down."

Dumbledore sat up straighter in his chair with a slight grin that Lily was sure she did not like.

"You think I won't turn him down?"

"Oh, no. You will."

"Then-"

"Don't." Dumbledore stated matter-of-factly.

Lily uncrossed her arms. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Don't turn him down."

"I don't want to fight for his barbaric cause." She scoffed. A few other choice words came to mind, but she didn't dare say them.

"You won't." He cleared his throat. "Candy?" He pointed to the bowl.

Lily shook her head. "If I don't turn him down how-" She watched a twinkle form in his eyes. She huffed loudly and pressed her hand to her head as she ran her hair through her fingers. "No. No way. I can't infiltrate in his circle. He can read minds. How can I-"

"You can be easily trained with that. You are a smart witch. You are one of the smartest ones I have."

Lily glared at him. "What about everyone else? Surely James and Sirius and Alice are-"

"I would trust each one with my life." He spoke calmly. "However, I cannot allow just anyone to do this."

"I'm not the only smart one." She stopped herself short of a scoff.

"But you are one of them and I believe you capable of occlumency."

Lily raised her eyebrows, "Occlumency? To stop him from reading my mind?" She scoffed out loud this time. "How is this a good idea? And why me?"

"I must be honest." Dumbledore spoke calmly. "I trust you deeply. I trust you to not move to his side."

"None of us will turn to his side, but I don't like the idea of you choosing James either." She bit her lower lip.

"No, I don't believe he would." Dumbledore stood up. "But influence and the possibility of power can be a strong pull for anyone. No one is immune to such a drive." His eyes seemed to pierce hers with a softened glint. Almost with sorrow.

"Then why would you assume I'm not immune?"

"I don't." He stated coolly.

Lily shook her head and blinked. "I don't understand then."

"I don't want someone who assumes they are above the pull of promise of great power. No one can assume they are immune to great power. No one can assume they would always do the right thing. You know what they say about assuming."

"It makes ass out of you and me." Lily spoke glibly.

"Indeed." He paused. "What I'm asking isn't easy. Of that I am aware."

"So you are asking me because I don't make assumptions?" Lily cocked her head slightly and faintly narrowed her eyes on Dumbledore.

"Because you are a muggleborn, Lily. You know his stance for people of your birth. That gives you an advantage to avoid the temptation."

Lily shrugged her shoulders up and waved her hand with her palm up. "But I'm not the only muggleborn on your side."

"No, but you are one of my most clever. You are brave enough-"

"Because I'm in Gryffindor? So are other muggleborns." Lily interjected.

"Because you are a clever, cunning, capable muggleborn who easily could have been in any house."

Lily paused and recalled the hat studying her when she was eleven. "Hmm, right. I see a good mix in you. Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor qualities. Tough one. Better be…Gryffindor!"

"So could a lot of people I'd imagine. Doubt I'm the only one."

"No. We are all complex creatures." His eyes implored hers.

"How do you expect me to make this work? What will I have to do?"

"At first, nothing. Just join his ranks when he recruits you soon."

Lily swallowed hard. She really did not want to be a part of this. However, a sense of duty plagued her. When she joined The Order, she had promised to do what was needed to fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. They could use a spy within the ranks, but the risks were so high, and she really was not sure she was could do what he was asking of her. "I'm not sure I am capable of what you are asking."

"I disagree. If I thought you weren't capable, I would not have asked."

She bit her lip again. "Say I did. If Voldemort ever discovered I was a spy for your side-"

"We don't allow him to find out." His eyes once again implored hers and made her choke.

The room became silent except for the faint snoring of Fawkes and some chirping birds outside. Finally Lily dropped her tight shoulders with a relenting heavy sigh. "Okay. Not saying I agree to anything, but say I do, how do I go about this?"

"First we will make sure your occlumency skills are up to par. You will start lessons tomorrow morning 9AM sharp."

Lily nodded, but her stomach twisted in a tight knot and churned the half-digested crisps inside. "I don't want to screw this up."

"You won't. I trust you."

She narrowed her eyes on him. "While I don't make assumptions on my end, you surely know I intend to stay on your side. I have much reason to stay."

He smiled at her in a way that seemed coy. "No. I don't expect you to abjure The Order. But you must also be okay with willing to do things. Things you never thought you would do. I don't ask this of just anyone. For now, your involvement is minimal. But you will have to get close and be in his circle. I trust you more than anyone else."

Lily swallowed so hard her throat hurt. "But if I did what you are asking," she gulped, "Will I have to take the mark?" She asked rhetorically. She knew the answer. "I refuse to kill anyone. I don't want to torture anyone at all."

"No. I would avoid both if possible."

"Why do you think that because he recruits me that I'll be able to be close enough to obtain valuable information?" Lily raised her eyebrows. "I'm only a muggleborn. Nothing in the eyes of Death Eaters and him."

"You really think this is only about hatred of muggles and muggleborns?"

"But he does. Hate them. Many Death Eaters or wannabe ones do."

"He only hates them as it suits him. He does not have love for his followers." Dumbledore's eyes narrowed to hers and made her gulp. "Everyone is either useful or useless to him. Voldemort lacks the ability to see grey, Lily. Your blood doesn't matter in truth. If you are useful to him, he will use you. His game is not about blood."

"It's about power." Lily finished.

Dumbledore nodded. "Are you willing to do this?"

"Am I willing? No." She stood up straight and took in a deep breath. "But I will think about it."

"Remember where your loyalty lies always. Remember James. Remember Mary and Niamh and Carolyn and Sirius and Remus-"

Lily put her hand up and her expression grew dour. "I know where I stand,"

"I only wish to remind you of reasons to stay committed. Even when it seems tough. In agreeing to do this for us, you must be in all the way. You must understand. Once you say yes. Once you join." Dumbledore's expression became cold and she could feel her spine shiver. "There is no turning back. Either you are in 100% or you are out. Fence sitting is not permitted. It will cause your death."

Lily nodded.

"Your occlumency lesson is still on for the morning."

She nodded again. "I will be here for my lesson. Can't hurt to perfect those skills regardless." She smiled, but it did not reach her eyes.

"Lily?"

She raised her eyebrow.

"For now, I ask that you keep this meeting between us. I cannot have everyone knowing your status should you become a spy for me."

She nodded with an unchanged expression.

"Not even to James. I'm aware you two have just started dating, but this stays between us. Promise me you won't say anything. Your safety is paramount. Word cannot get out. James tells Sirius, Sirius tells Remus and Peter and Peter tells Sturgis."

"I know." She interjected. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"It is need to know and right now, no one does. I'm swearing you to secrecy on this."

Lily gave a swift nod. "I swear I will keep this meeting between us."

"I trust you will."

She sighed internally. "So I have time to think about this, right?"

Dumbledore nodded. "You have time to decide. I wouldn't expect you to make a swift decision. Go home and sleep on it. A few nights are likely necessary to make a sound decision. Quick commitments lead to regrets. I cannot have you quickly regretting your judgment. Until Voldemort calls for you, you can change your mind."

She nodded. "May I return home then?"

"That will be all for today. See you 9AM sharp?"

She nodded again. "Yes, sir." She gave him another smile that almost reached her eyes. "See you tomorrow."

Lily sighed as she reached her front door. She entered the house and turned to the open living room door from the foyer. She took off her shoes and entered the room. It was empty with the only light emitting from a single lamp. "Dad?"

"Out here!" A man called from the back of the house.

Lily smiled. This time it reached her eyes. She made her way through the living room to the dining area. The back door was open, and she could hear light pounding. She stood in the doorway to the backyard to find her father sitting on the concrete porch pounding a nail into a chair.

"Back for dinner, are ya?" He glanced up at her with a smile.

"Yep." She smiled back at him. "Going to change and then I can fix something for us."

"Nah. Wasn't sure you'd be back or not. Got some leftovers from yesterday to eat."

"I'll make us something anyway. The leftovers can be for lunch tomorrow." She pressed her lips together. "I may not be here for lunch. Not sure yet."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow. "Thinking of having lunch with that James guy?"

Lily blushed a little. "Actually, no. Professor Dumbledore wants me learn some new skills for The Order. Supposed to meet him in the morning. Not sure how long it will take."

"I see." He frowned. "So, when am I going to meet this James kid you started going out with? Think should know who is dating my daughter and if I should trust him."

Lily half-heartedly rolled her eyes. "I'm 18, Dad. I plan to have him meet you soon enough. We've only gone on one official date so far. If it gets serious, I'll bring him around."

"Guess it's time we sat down and had a chat about being safe. Don't rush things and don't listen to him tell you he's too big for a condom. Protect yourself." He winked.

Lily huffed. "Dad. It's a little late for that."

His face fell. "It better not be!"

Lily chuckled. "Oh, not like that. Not that late. We haven't-not even close."

Her dad let out a sigh of relief. "Well thank goodness for that. Don't scare me like that."

"Don't worry. That won't be for some time. Trust me on that." She glanced up at the purple and orange sky as dusk approached. "I'm going to go up and change before the neighbours see me in these robes and think I'm mad. Tuna pasta okay for dinner?"

Her father nodded. "Sounds good to me. I'll come help ya once I fix this chair. Tired of it sounding like a bad brake each time you move in it."

After she changed into her muggle attire, she began to make some dinner. Her father came in and set the table a short time later. She washed the salad greens as her mind raced. Dumbledore wanted her to be a part of the Death Eaters. If she agreed to this, she was going to be a spy for them. Against those who hated her. Was he right that her blood did not actually matter to Voldemort? Surely, he hated people of her birth. The wannabe Death Eaters enjoyed calling her and others of her birth mudbloods on the regular. Voldemort was known to use the term like a contraction in a sentence. Dirty blood. Dirty. She was just filth to most of them. A speck of dirt to be brushed away. But she supposed Dumbledore was right. It wasn't about her blood. It was about his power. She wondered if Voldemort's goal was to replace Minister Minchum eventually? Though she knew he likely aimed higher. Still, what could she possibly offer him besides adding another name among his followers?

Lily glanced down at her right arm that was currently bare. Just her porcelain skin. She wanted to fight for The Order, but she didn't know if she wanted the mark. Whatever she did to help fight against him, the mark would only be if absolutely necessary. The idea of going around torturing anyone and especially killing them-she shuddered. Despite the warm night air emitting from the open window, she shivered. Goosebumps ran up her arms and neck. Maybe it didn't have to go badly. She wasn't going to be a real follower. Perhaps in the process of faking it she could help more people than she ever could harm. Anything to make up for what she was about to sign up for would be an improvement.

"It is good thing that you are fighting for a good cause." Her father interrupted her thoughts. She set their now full plates on the table and sat down across from him.

"Yeah." She bit her lip and pushed her pasta around to cool it down.

"So long as you are safe. I'm proud of you for working to fight against a dangerous regime." He glared at her. "But doesn't mean I have to like it. I don't want anything to happen to you."

She swallowed her bite of bread hard and choked a little. She coughed a few times despite the bread going down and took a sip of water.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah-" She coughed and nearly choked on her water. "Just swallowed the bread wrong."

"You're staying safe, aren't you? Not getting involved in any sort of fighting?"

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head with a huff. "What? Because girls aren't supposed to fight?"

"No." He scowled at her. "Because I don't want anything to happen to my little girl."

"I'm not your little girl anymore, Dad."

He grinned. "Doesn't matter how old you get, you'll always be my little girl, Lily." He waved his hand to stop her from speaking, though she had not even opened her mouth to do so. "One day you'll have a child of your own and you'll understand what I mean. She'll be your little girl forever too. Or little boy. Whatever you have. But the point remains. Your children are always your children. Growing older doesn't change that." He set his jaw firm. "If something happened to you or Petunia, I don't know what I'd do."

Lily set her fork down and reached across the table and clutched his fingers. "Don't worry, Dad. I'll always try to stay safe. No matter what." She glanced down at his hand and sighed as she stared at his wedding band a few moments before moving her eyes back up to meet his. "I love you, Dad."

"You know I love you more."

"Life really is so short and fleeting, isn't it? It can be gone so fast. We never know how long we have."

He let go of her hand. "Are you getting sentimental on me? You best not be in some sort of trouble."

Lily shook her head. "No. No, I'm not. Honest. Just thinking. With mum's passing and this war going on." She sighed. "I just think about how quickly it can end and at any time."

"Well don't you get in too deep with your involvement. You still have a lot of years left to live. I want to see you grow old until I'm dead. I hope to see you and Petunia give me grandchildren. I want you to live to one day see yours born."

A lump formed in her throat and she stared at her mostly full plate. "Haven't thought that far ahead."

"Don't lose sight of the good in life, Lily. Don't get into anything too deep."

Lily took a bite of her pasta and gave her father a curt nod. Only as deep as she had to and not a bit more.


End file.
